I’ve always struggled with the idea of living life for myself. I’ve always had such a strong sense of responsibility/ love for my community, family members and friends, and equated this love with doing things people in my community wanted me to do, instead of doing things I wanted to do for myself. Generally speaking, It seems there is more of a pressure on women of color/ immigrants to perform better, succeed and put in a great representation for ourselves as well as our community. This is a great thing because it gives meaning and purpose to our lives, however, it also has the ability to hurt our lives, if we don’t stay true to who we are.
I’ve been struggling on how to find my balance of living for myself while also giving back to my community. When I was younger, I used to seek validation from others. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, therefore, I wanted others to validate me and somehow steer me to the right direction. I didn’t start asking questions and getting answers from myself until very recently. I always looked outward for answers inside of inward, which was useless as well as tiring.
The change started happening the minute I realized that as a woman of color, it was necessary for me to know and stay true to myself while also holding all those aspects that were important to me, like community love, family love, etc. It wasn’t until I was well into my mid-twenties did I have this realization of validating myself and doing the things that I enjoyed. This was definitely important because it helped me live life through my experiences instead of others, this also helped me pay close attention to my journey and give it my own meaning and purpose instead of wanting others to give my life meaning and purpose for me.
This realization has helped me in making connections with my truer self and realize my potential. I’ve always liked writing but I didn’t start writing religiously until recently. I knew writing has always been apart of me but I never truly explored it until very recently, after getting some inspiration from young bloggers, who were writing regardless of their life situations and healing while doing so. I’ve always felt I had some kind of a passion to reach out to others but never knew what outlet I should be using to do so. After doing the work I needed to desperately do for myself, I decided to use writing as a means to inspire and reach out to others.
As women of color, it is very important to define our journey and realize our values, passions, desires and potential. This is the moment when we can truly change ourselves and be a voice for our community. Change comes in different ways and you don’t have to think of it as a one-way route. It’s different for many people. This is also the same for success. Many people find their breakthroughs in different times, and it’s good to be patient and trust ourselves that we’ll get there, while also putting in the real hard work we need. Yes, I have been able to find myself and the things that were important to me while also holding my heritage, family values, community love, dear and close to my heart. I’m very happy my journey happened the way it did because I was able to find my voice as a writer, and as a result create this space to write on. I hope you find your voice and your space too.
Peace and Love,