As I was driving today, it hit me that I used to argue a lot with people. I used to want to make everyone believe in the same things I believed in. I was devoted and committed to my beliefs and wanted everyone to believe in the same morality system I believed in. I wanted everyone to fight for everyone’s rights like me. I used to argue to make my point and more over, convince people to the same belief systems I had. I realized that today, I’ve changed. I’ve changed tremendously. These days, I make a point if I have to make a point but I quickly move on from long-winded, empty, head-ache causing conversations. These days I find myself wanting to have effective communications instead of meaningless arguments with people. These days I find myself wanting to have conversations with same minded individuals who want to get enlightened and learn something new like me.
I used to think that by winning people over and convincing them to think in the same ways I did, that I was living my truth. I’ve learned that this shouldn’t be a way I operate. People should be able to feel, think, breathe, and exist how they feel. I’ve learned that I can’t really change anyone but myself. I’ve learned that having stimulating conversations are good and necessary but not with the mindset of convincing others, instead it should be done with the mindset of understanding others. I’m slowly but surely learning that I don’t have to have meaningless arguments with people who don’t understand my views or seek to understand me. All meaningless arguments are going to lead to is more headache and less peace of mind.
As I’m growing older, I’m choosing to have effective and stimulating conversations with others. I’m learning that age isn’t really an aspect that I should focus on to connect with individuals but experience should be my focus. Stories connect others, not the number of years a person has existed on planet earth. I’m learning to speak up when I need to but do so to create understanding instead of win the “argument”, I’m learning to be effective in my communication so that I shine my light onto others, instead of create a division and a “win/lose” scenario, I’m learning to minimize my arguments and create more conversations on issues that matter so much to me, I’m learning to talk about things that maybe uncomfortable to others but doing it in a non-intimidating kind of way so I can find a good solution from others, and finally I’m learning to avoid meaningless conversations, arguments and spaces that do not serve me and instead seek to find effective, stimulating and loving spaces that nurture and give me growth.
Peace and Love,